JIM IN THE CENTRAL AFRICAN REPUBLIC

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Jim wakes up in the Central African Republic. “I seem to be in some landlocked country,” thinks Jim. “To the north lies Chad, to the east is Sudan, south is Congo and west lies Cameroon.” How he is so fucking knowledgeable regarding African geography, well, sir, he has no fucking idea. Whatsoever. A Central African Republican, a thirty-ish man wearing a bright red felt cap by the name of N’Domo, asks him what he thinks the area of his country is and its population. “I’d say about 240,000 square miles with 34.4 million people,” replies Jim. Unprompted, he blurts out, “And Bangui is its capital.” “Smart-ass!” snorts N’Domo. Jim is chocked with useless facts: that the Central African Republic

consists of mostly of savanna but it also includes a desert zone in the north and an equatorial forest in the south; that two-thirds of the country lies in the basins of the Ubangi River, which flows south into the Congo River, while the remaining third lies in the basin of the Chari River, which flows north into Lake Chad; that

since most of the territory locates in the Ubangi and Shari river basins, France called the colony it carved out in this region Ubangi-Chari; that it became a semi-autonomous territory of the France in 1958 and then an independent nation in 1960; that for over three decades after independence, it was ruled by presidents who took power by force. Then Jim goes back to sleep.

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